1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,900 Excuse me. 2 00:00:10,070 --> 00:00:12,300 I know we haven't been 3 00:00:10,070 --> 00:00:12,300 formally introduced... 4 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:16,000 ...but I was wondering, 5 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:16,000 when you get off from work... 6 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:18,240 ...if you haven't made 7 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:18,240 any dinner plans...? 8 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:22,040 Steak and Brew, 10:30. 9 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:22,040 Wear something tight. 10 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:32,860 In Manhattan. 11 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:32,860 The number for Spandex for Less. 12 00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:37,290 It says here they're down to 13 00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:37,290 three candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize. 14 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:41,200 I would kill for one of those. 15 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,100 I don't know how to be delicate, 16 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,100 but it would seem... 17 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:49,940 ...that one of the prerequisites for winning 18 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:49,940 a humanitarian award is that you be.... 19 00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:51,980 Human. 20 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,210 Why are you interested 21 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,210 in a Nobel Peace Prize, Dan? 22 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,810 Career advancement. 23 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:02,860 Of course, 24 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:02,860 I lost my head there for a second. 25 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:07,160 Excuse me, I'm afraid I'm a little lost. 26 00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:09,160 I was wondering if you could direct me. 27 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:13,500 Certainly, first left, take the corridor, 28 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:13,500 and then follow the yellow brick road. 29 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,170 I crack myself up. 30 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,840 Who are you? 31 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:33,680 Dan Fielding. Can you say that? 32 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:43,090 I'm Vincent Daniels, your new boss. 33 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,800 Can you say that? 34 00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:54,430 I'll expect you in my office immediately. 35 00:02:00,380 --> 00:02:03,940 Heigh-ho, heigh-ho... 36 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,990 ...it's off to work I go. 37 00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:54,500 Florence. 38 00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:54,500 Huh? 39 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:58,130 Florence, I was thinking, 40 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:58,130 before we rushed into things... 41 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:02,710 ...maybe it would be a good idea 42 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:02,710 if we got to know each other a little better. 43 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:04,910 Why? 44 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:09,550 Well, there are a million questions 45 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:09,550 I'd like to ask you. 46 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,420 And I'm sure there are a million 47 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,420 you could ask me. 48 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:17,390 Go ahead, ask me any little thing 49 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:17,390 your heart desires. 50 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,520 Ever do it to Twisted Sister? 51 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,130 Talk is cheap, Bernie. 52 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:30,100 Vincent Daniels wanted me to tell you... 53 00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:33,110 ...he's gonna be sitting in with Dan 54 00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:33,110 on tonight's session. 55 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,400 - Thanks. 56 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,400 - Have you seen that guy's credentials? 57 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,740 Yale Law Review, Supreme Court clerk. 58 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:41,080 The highest rate of convictions 59 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:41,080 of any DA in the state. 60 00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:44,520 How do you think Dan's 61 00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:44,520 gonna handle working with him? 62 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:47,880 You ever discuss jurisprudence 63 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:47,880 with a Muppet? 64 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:54,460 Ask a stupid question.... 65 00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:56,290 I hate him. 66 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,330 - Because? 67 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,330 - That job was mine. 68 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,560 I busted my chops for years, 69 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,560 what do they do? 70 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,230 - They give it to Santa's favorite elf. 71 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,230 - Oh, Dan. 72 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,310 And then he lectures me. 73 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,780 He sits with his little feet 74 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,780 on top of his little desk and lectured me. 75 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:14,080 He happens to be one of the 76 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:14,080 best-qualified prosecutors in the state. 77 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,840 Perhaps he beat you out 78 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,840 for that job fair and square. 79 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:26,790 My favorite is, 80 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:26,790 "How's the weather down there?" 81 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,930 Mine is, "How's the view?" 82 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,430 I've heard that one a thousand times. 83 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,130 Ever see Rocky and Bullwinkle? 84 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,500 Watch out, Dan. 85 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:48,340 Mr. Fielding, I'm only going to interject 86 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:48,340 when I think it is absolutely necessary. 87 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:55,090 - Mm. Light docket tonight. 88 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:55,090 - That's about the size of it. 89 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,220 Yeah, the gavel works good. 90 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,730 - What do we got first? 91 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,730 - We've got some burglaries... 92 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,490 - ...attempted arson, bodily assaults.... 93 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,490 - Surprise me. 94 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:08,930 Arnold Preminger, attempted arson. 95 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,700 - Lovely choice. 96 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,700 - Oh, thank you, sir. 97 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:14,400 - Defense requests a psychiatric-- 98 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:14,400 - Whoa, Miss Sullivan. 99 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:18,210 I would like to hear the particulars 100 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:18,210 of this case before we pass judgment. 101 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,510 Mr. Preminger believes aliens 102 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,510 from the gaseous nebula Gamma Seven... 103 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:26,850 ...are infiltrating the municipal work force 104 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:26,850 in their continued quest for domination. 105 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,320 You were saying, Miss Sullivan? 106 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:32,220 - I have proof. 107 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:32,220 - Mr. Preminger-- 108 00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:35,830 Front page, New York Times. 109 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,970 They've invaded every area 110 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,970 of the work force. 111 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,900 "Evidence of alien hiring." 112 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,400 Mr. Preminger, 113 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,400 this is an article about immigrants. 114 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,100 From space. 115 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,540 Your Honor, the empire recommends 116 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,540 we beam the earthling... 117 00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:52,880 ...aboard the slave colony 118 00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:52,880 at Terra Bellevue. 119 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,780 Oh, my God. 120 00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:59,510 Mr. Fielding. 121 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,050 Excuse me. 122 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,050 Vinnie the Pooh wants to see me. 123 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,490 Oooh.... 124 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,230 Hey! You can forget 125 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,230 those Christmas cards. 126 00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:15,230 - What? 127 00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:15,230 - Mr. Fielding. 128 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,170 Ethics aside, I found your comments 129 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,170 to the defendant disgusting... 130 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,280 ...and totally unacceptable. 131 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:24,410 So, what's your point? 132 00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:28,680 My point is, I'm going to show you 133 00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:28,680 how I want things handled in this court. 134 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:32,080 - I have been doing this job for eight years-- 135 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:32,080 - Sit! 136 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:40,590 Look, listen and learn. 137 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,370 I hated you in E.T. 138 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:54,110 And in conclusion, Your Honor, 139 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:54,110 I would like to cite a relevant precedent. 140 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,180 Namely, Green v. Wisconsin, 141 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,180 1962, in which-- 142 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,280 You mean Greenberg v. Wisconsin. 143 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:02,380 Greenberg, right. 144 00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:05,880 - As I was saying-- 145 00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:05,880 - And it was 1972. 146 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,320 - What did I say? 147 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,320 - '62. 148 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,180 Hey, you got the state part right. 149 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,990 How clever of me. 150 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,690 With all due respect 151 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,690 to counsel for the defense... 152 00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:23,930 ...the Greenberg decision 153 00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:23,930 was overturned by the Supreme Court. 154 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,440 It was a 6-to-2 vote 155 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,440 with one abstention... 156 00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:33,550 ...on August 17th, 1977. 157 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:42,060 - I believe it was a Thursday. 158 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:42,060 - It was a Tuesday. 159 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,660 I'm just kidding. 160 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,290 I know. 161 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,670 Defense have anything to add? 162 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:59,570 I respectfully decline, Your Honor, 163 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:59,570 on the grounds that it may incriminate me. 164 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:00,940 Mr. Fielding? 165 00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:06,410 Her turn-ons are sunshine, smiles 166 00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:06,410 and Bert Convy movies. 167 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:11,620 Dan. Yo. Do you concur with Mr. Daniels? 168 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:17,190 Well, if the pointy little shoe 169 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:17,190 with the bell on the toe fits.... 170 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,330 Okay, I don't see any reason we can't 171 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,330 continue this case till the next session. 172 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,520 We will take a short-- 173 00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:28,400 I mean, a little-- I mean.... 174 00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:32,630 - "Short" is fine. 175 00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:32,630 - "Short" it is. Short recess. 176 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,670 Fielding, I've got a problem 177 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,670 with your attitude. 178 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,770 Did you say "attitude"... 179 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,590 ...or "altitude"? 180 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:49,950 Your behavior is bordering 181 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:49,950 on insubordination. 182 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,290 - Now, you listen to me-- 183 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,290 - No, you listen to me. 184 00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:55,590 I'm giving you one week 185 00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:55,590 to clean up your act. 186 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,320 Is that understood? 187 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,340 Understood? 188 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,800 - Yes. 189 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,800 - Yes, what? 190 00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:06,460 Yes, you little ba-- 191 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,570 Barrister. 192 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,710 Fielding. 193 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:19,250 I don't think we see eye-to-eye. 194 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:24,620 You wanna see eye-to-eye? 195 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:24,620 You want to see eye-to-eye? 196 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:34,600 Okay, here's one more. 197 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:34,600 Vincent Price in The Fly. 198 00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:37,240 Help me, help me, help me. 199 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:42,070 - Great news. 200 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:42,070 - What? 201 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,840 I've been fired. 202 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:45,410 - No. 203 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:45,410 - You're kidding. 204 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:49,750 It's true. I've just been promoted 205 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:49,750 to former assistant district attorney. 206 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,980 Oh, wow. Congratulations. 207 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,720 Poor Dan. 208 00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:05,390 Just kidding. 209 00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:07,060 Oh, even so... 210 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,670 ...it seems a shame to see a man's 211 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,670 whole life go down the tubes like that. 212 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,940 It's like the 17th century mathematician 213 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,940 and philosopher René Descartes once said: 214 00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:19,170 "You hoist your boss, you pay the price." 215 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,140 - Here he is. 216 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,140 - Thank you, Bull, where did you find him? 217 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,190 In the men's room 218 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,190 beating his head against the tile. 219 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,150 Well? 220 00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:38,160 Well? What do you expect 221 00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:38,160 when you behave like an inconsiderate.... 222 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,830 Diseased piece of vermin meat? 223 00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,840 Dan, I feel sorry for you. I really do. 224 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,570 I have seen the sensitive side of you, 225 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,570 so this really shocks me. 226 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,940 Frankly, I was just beginning to like you. 227 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,920 So sex is not totally out of the question? 228 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,920 I'd rather sleep with Attila the Hun. 229 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,230 Hey, Christine, wait up. 230 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,960 She wouldn't. 231 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:21,280 Oh. Well, I gotta go check on my roast. 232 00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:31,340 Yeah, I know. You're disappointed. 233 00:11:32,050 --> 00:11:35,650 And I know that you are prejudiced jerk. 234 00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:39,250 Well, so would you be 235 00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:39,250 if you were in my shoes. 236 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:43,160 It's very easy to be a bleeding-heart liberal 237 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:43,160 from where you sit. 238 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,460 Try working for Vincent Daniels. 239 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,930 Dan, everyone has the right to work. 240 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,870 - Of course. In circuses, amusement parks. 241 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,870 - Dan. 242 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,710 Damn it, Harry. I wanted that job. 243 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,410 Dan, from the bottom of my heart... 244 00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:04,610 ...I am truly ashamed of you. 245 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,220 See you. 246 00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:26,270 Be sure to put down 247 00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:26,270 your doctor's name and phone number. 248 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:31,110 I never filled in a medical report 249 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:31,110 for a date before. 250 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,080 Safety first, Bernie. 251 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,610 Florence, about tonight-- 252 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,620 Oh, listen, you better put down 253 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,620 your next of kin too. 254 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:48,660 My hot tub's been acting 255 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:48,660 a little funny lately. 256 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,230 Yeah? 257 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:08,250 Wondering if I could bother you 258 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:08,250 for a letter of recommendation. 259 00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,520 Exactly 32 seconds, huh? 260 00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:16,390 What is the job market for village idiots? 261 00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:21,190 Harry, don't you realize yet 262 00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:21,190 that it's a matter of dignity? 263 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,090 Oh, I know that. 264 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,090 You are in need of some. 265 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,930 I am a full-grown man 266 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,930 being forced to take orders... 267 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:30,870 ...from somebody 268 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:30,870 who should be named Spanky. 269 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,840 All right, Fielding, that's enough. 270 00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:36,070 I will not sit and listen to you 271 00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:36,070 denigrate another human being... 272 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,980 ...just because 273 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,980 he happens to be 2 feet tall. 274 00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:41,050 Actually, I'm 4'2". 275 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:46,450 Sorry, Vincent. This foot-in-mouth disease 276 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:46,450 seems to be contagious. 277 00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:48,950 Forget it. 278 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,790 I just stopped by to let you know... 279 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,490 ...that a new prosecutor 280 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,490 will be taking over after the lunch break. 281 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,360 Fine. 282 00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:02,130 - Gentlemen. 283 00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:02,130 Vincent. 284 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,940 I want you to know 285 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,940 that I think Dan Fielding... 286 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,840 ...is ignorant, bull-headed 287 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,840 and just plain stupid. 288 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,170 About that recommendation.... 289 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:16,340 And I'm probably crazy for thinking this, 290 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:16,340 much less saying it out loud... 291 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:22,890 ...but I believe that underneath all this junk 292 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:22,890 there is something that is salvageable. 293 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,520 Would you reconsider? 294 00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:33,600 I suppose. If he apologized. 295 00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:37,800 Dan. 296 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,310 Uh.... 297 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,170 I, uh.... 298 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,750 I was wrong. He's gone from stupid 299 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,750 all the way to brain damage. 300 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,020 I can't. I just cannot apologize. 301 00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,660 That's okay, 302 00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,660 I know exactly how you feel. 303 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,730 - You do? 304 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,730 - You've got your pride. 305 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,830 You've been humiliated. 306 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,340 You had to suck up to a man 307 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,340 who sits on booster seats in restaurants. 308 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,200 That's pretty funny. 309 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,570 Shut up, Velcro head. 310 00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:22,810 I know all about humiliation, Fielding, 311 00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:22,810 believe me. 312 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:27,450 Pee wee, munchkin, runt, 313 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:27,450 dwarf, pygmy, midget. 314 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,250 I think I've heard them all. 315 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,460 Kids can be very creative 316 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,460 when they tease you, you know. 317 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,760 You see, I stopped growing 318 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,760 when I was 11 years old. 319 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,800 But, then, apparently, so did you. 320 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:50,680 Look, I am sorry you were born that way. 321 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,250 Hm. 322 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,110 That's exactly what my father said... 323 00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,650 ...just before he left. 324 00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,480 Your father left? 325 00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:02,060 I guess it was rough on him. 326 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:07,530 His friends' sons played baseball, 327 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:07,530 his carried the water bucket. 328 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:12,790 His friends' sons played football, 329 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:12,790 his carried the water bucket. 330 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:16,730 To this day, I go crazy 331 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:16,730 every time I go by a drinking fountain. 332 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:22,940 You mean your father walked out 333 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:22,940 just because you were... 334 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,410 ...petite? 335 00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,810 The night before he left... 336 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:35,050 ...I heard him tell my mother 337 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:35,050 that it was his fault. 338 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,020 He said that I was 339 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,020 a punishment from God. 340 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,830 But my mother was a intelligent 341 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,830 and caring woman. 342 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,130 And she finally explained it to me... 343 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,500 ...that it wasn't my inadequacies 344 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,500 he couldn't deal with. 345 00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:57,580 It was his own. 346 00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:10,260 Is it true you can hang yourself 347 00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:10,260 with your own belt? 348 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:13,050 You can do it with your own words. 349 00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:23,830 Vincent, I am truly sorry 350 00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:23,830 for everything that I said and did. 351 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:27,970 You may shoot me 352 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:27,970 in the vital organ of your choice. 353 00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:34,140 Apology accepted. 354 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,410 I'll get back to you on which organ. 355 00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:43,250 In the meantime, get those cases together 356 00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:43,250 for the rest of the session. 357 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,790 You're taking me back? 358 00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:51,060 Yes. Because I think 359 00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:51,060 you're being sincere. 360 00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:55,140 Also, I've seen your conviction record. 361 00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:55,140 You're good. 362 00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:59,500 But most of all, I'm taking you back... 363 00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:04,510 ...because it will give me the opportunity 364 00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:04,510 to make your life a living hell. 365 00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:09,180 You think you're a tough customer? 366 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,550 Well, move over, buster. 367 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,120 Because I'm the toughest, 368 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,120 I'm the meanest... 369 00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:18,560 ...I'm the nastiest little man 370 00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:18,560 God ever put on this earth. 371 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,320 I'm going to make you run, 372 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,320 I'm going to make you jump... 373 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:26,460 ...I am going to make you 374 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:26,460 slither on the ground like a snake. 375 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,890 God bless you, sir! 376 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,010 - I don't understand him. 377 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,010 - Neither do I. 378 00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:45,480 But together we can have some fun 379 00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:45,480 abusing him till we do. 380 00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:52,090 Dan apologized? Our Dan? 381 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,520 Very same. 382 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,520 It was really kind of beautiful. 383 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,320 He really listened. 384 00:18:56,500 --> 00:19:00,200 - So he's working? 385 00:18:56,500 --> 00:19:00,200 - Well, I wouldn't exactly call it working. 386 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:03,200 Yes, sir. I can pick up 387 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:03,200 your dry cleaning on the way home. 388 00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:06,740 It's more like groveling for dollars. 389 00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:09,640 And you typed up all the plea bargain 390 00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:09,640 motions for December? 391 00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:11,470 - Yes, sir. 392 00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:11,470 - The conviction ratios? 393 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,280 Oh, yeah, stuck in my pants. 394 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:17,040 Oh. Fine. 395 00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:19,240 Now, about my car.... 396 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,490 Light wash, no wax. 397 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,490 I can have it first thing tomorrow. 398 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,030 Fine. Tomorrow, what? 399 00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:30,160 Tomorrow, my lord. 400 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,690 Good. Now toss me a salad. 401 00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:41,770 Oh, and Fielding... 402 00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:44,240 ...got any spare change 403 00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:44,240 for the vending machine? 404 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:47,280 I'm a little short right now. 405 00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:51,310 Did you hear me, Fielding? 406 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:56,420 I said, I'm a little short right now. 407 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:00,820 Anything you would care to say? 408 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,710 A little nervous about your date, Bernie? 409 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:17,870 No. I'm afraid for my life. 410 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:22,540 Oh, come on, Bernie. 411 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:22,540 It's just sweet, little old Flo. 412 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,250 She sent me a box of whips. 413 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,020 That must be a joke. 414 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:34,920 Oh, I see the party favors arrived. 415 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:39,030 Florence, about dinner tonight. 416 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,790 Oh, forget dinner. 417 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:43,770 What the hell, let's just shack up. 418 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:48,470 I can live off your savings 419 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:48,470 and devote myself to my hobbies. 420 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,840 Did I ever mention the motorcycle club? 421 00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:54,170 Actually, it's more of a gang. 422 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:56,820 Florence, we have to talk. 423 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,610 Sure, what topic? 424 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:02,190 Well, it's kind of private. 425 00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,420 That roast should be done by now. 426 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:16,800 - Florence, it's not going to work. 427 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:16,800 - It's not? 428 00:21:16,970 --> 00:21:20,240 Don't get me wrong, 429 00:21:16,970 --> 00:21:20,240 it's not that I don't find you attractive... 430 00:21:20,410 --> 00:21:22,540 ...it's just, well... 431 00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:27,740 ...I'm used to a certain pace 432 00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:27,740 when it comes to relationships. 433 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,970 Like? 434 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:33,050 Like you're a Corvette 435 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:33,050 and I'm a milk truck. 436 00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:34,810 Oh. 437 00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:38,150 I'm sorry, really I am. 438 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:42,590 Well, I guess if that's the way you feel. 439 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,960 It is. 440 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:46,460 And listen, who knows? 441 00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,570 In a few years... 442 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:53,330 ...after you'll have gotten all of this 443 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:53,330 out of your system.... 444 00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:56,440 Goodbye, Florence. 445 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,700 Goodbye, Bernie. 446 00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:15,960 Ee-yah! 447 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,330 - He bought it? 448 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,330 - Bought it? 449 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,060 That clown's gotta be halfway 450 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,060 over the river by now. 451 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,640 All right! 452 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,970 - I sense a conspiracy. 453 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,970 - Yes, sir. 454 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:33,210 See, I told Florence 455 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:33,210 what a nuisance Bernie was with Selma. 456 00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:36,650 I figured it was a matter of time 457 00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:36,650 before he started bothering Florence. 458 00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,810 So we just decided 459 00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,810 to beat him to the punch. 460 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:41,460 Being irresistible must be tough, huh? 461 00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:43,320 We manage. 462 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:45,080 You know, I still can't believe... 463 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:47,990 ...Bernie actually bought 464 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:47,990 all that stuff we concocted. 465 00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:52,560 The line about the motorcycle gang 466 00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:52,560 was my favorite. 467 00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:54,400 Motorcycle gang? 468 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:56,560 Ready, angel? 469 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,340 Oh, anytime, doll. 470 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,340 - We better get a move on. 471 00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:03,030 We gotta link up 472 00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:03,030 with 50 guys from Sickle and Skull... 473 00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:08,170 ...and still make the Jersey border before 474 00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:08,170 the highway patrol throws up a barricade. 475 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,450 Some of us were born to run.